Thursday, December 16, 2010
Messy messy MESSY!
Life's been well like the title. Messy!xD messy messy messy~!~!~!Having Massive Headache that's turning into a high fever.Woo!and no better time for that to happen than right after exams right?!?!damn~I'm soo "Lucky"!ROFL!on another note. I AM LUCKY:') During my exam week she's been soo supportive like completely!tho i feel bad for talking to her less. :(I really wanna score well in College sigh!I hope i score well.geez!History of Art sucks!Kenny Sucks!his tips all wrong de. fck!that aside~it's the Holidays!yay... happy holidays everyone.heh.. I feel kinda dead honestly. maybe due to the sickness. I dunnoI finished my book!Marked~ Awesome story~ :DI like the sentence said by the Goddess Of Night/vampires."Darkness does not always equate to evil, just as light does not always bring good"which is true~ sometimes people can easily shine the light of problems onto us~when we're probably better off not knowing and be left in the dark.Next semester I'll be starting REAL multimedia courses :Dyay!means i gotta brush up on my video n photoshop skills.and also read up on some random stuff. myths, games, stories, books, and what not.So i'd have an active imagination for the coming semester.Its not that I want to.. I just have nothing much left to do.Alright!Truth! :X I miss her like crazy~ but then, it doesnt hurt anymore.o_o it's not that i dont love her. By God! I love her more than anything.I just suddenly found this inner peace. rofl! and it's name be Trust~and maybe a thing called Life. no idea how that relates.but oh well!I'm most probably gonna buy "The House Of Night Book 2; Betrayed" next month.and then "book 3; Chosen" by the following semester. rofl!yes I DO need a book for every semester i change subject~thinking about next year. kinda scary. College is a whole new field o_o!gawd! it rawks!and and Next year playing with the touchscreen MAC!~ ehehehe~ gonna poke it until it breaks!:X i mean uhh~ Design Until It Fries!?! ehehehehe :X i MEAN! create amazing wicked awesome freaking animation that's gonna make the lecturer speakless! (IN YOUR FACE KENNY LAU! )*I hope he doesnt read blogs~~ :X*wheeeeeeeeeee~what's next?Complete and utter CHAOS!my life seems to not be able to function without it. and somehow I'm getting used to it.or maybe it's lost its power when i grew up. huh?oh well!I wish i could say more. i wish i could do more~but for the time being this is all i can do~Ohhhhhh~ I love the book~~ It teaches a lot! :DNyx is the personification of Night~ which is of course The Lady Of Darkness, AKA Vampire Goddess. which is also known as; The Changing Woman ( ROFL! ) , Gaea (wow!), A'akuluujjusi (I dont even know how to pronounce that?!) Kuan Yin (completely wtf!) Grandmother Spider (i love spiders) and Dawn (this one i like! :D)It's like "Queen Of The Damned" all over again! I'm kidding.That movie actually kinda sucked.Okay! so i'm being random.I'm just soo bored.I cant sleep liao.. zz..Headache's killing me. I have no book left to read.She didnt reply ; so maybe she's asleep d.hmmm... ah well. going to take some meds then lie down. (pfft! that sounds wayyyyy too oldddd for my age! but still! gotta take care eh? xD)P.S!I love you~~ ROFL! i know that's a stolen line. OOPPS!! It would be soo freakin cool if I could create a new language!~
then i can say something freakin complicated and...what the heck am i talking about. zzzgreat!!!! headache making me go nuts. sigh.lame. i know i am.anyway! THING ISI just, wanna thank you for supporting me during my exam time. :) that means a whole lot to me. (i hope you read this before coming back!) and and I guess, I just really really thankful and feel blessed to have you in my life. so yeah :) no matter what ever I still love you. Genuinely! :)BLUEKS! thats all i guess ;)so yeah! as you can see~~~~~hmmmmm~ I'm going great! despite this ''going to be sick soon'' period. ISH! and Period reminds me of history of art! hate hate hate!maybe hate is too strong of a word... hmmmm...NEAH!!HATE! HISTORY!BOO!:) so yay! I'm goona pass! wakaka! siao liao siao liao.paiseh paiseh.wa ki kun liao.bye bye da jia~LOL! Labels: myself
.:Calling Now:.
11:49 PM
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Life's been
Life's been.... like hell..
everything i do. seems... wrong?!
i dunno. i want her to be happy. but i keep doing the opposite somehow.
Oh God! tell me what to do???
to be honest i feel like suffocating myself with my blanket.
I kept praying and screaming.
but to no avail. All i heard from God was; "You still have a purpose."
That proves why i cant die... not yet anyway. but then..
life is getting sooo frustrating! especially with College!
The girl i truly deeply in love with. seems to be slipping out of my hand. and i dunno what i have to do to keep her with me.
exams coming up, and oh man, i wish i didnt have to sit for history of arts.
haiz.. I hope i can pass all my subjects this semester..
I made a promise to myself not to lack behind starting next sem. gonna format my com to only have photoshop and video-editing programs too. time to grow outta being a gamer.
heh... If anything; My wish from when I was 9; about wanting someone to be by my side. Has finally comes true. So Right now; my wish is for her to stay.
I'ma gonna take my driver's test next year too. and depending on my studies.
i might take up a part-time job too (most likely after june).
Nothing fancy of course. most likely end up working at the kopitiam.
which isnt that bad, and the pay isnt bad either.
up to rm750 for sitting around is definitely worth it!
It's odd, when i started being a christian. All i ever prayed for was peace in family. and a vision/future for myself...
Now that i have both. I'm willing to throw it all away for a wish.
lol! shows how freakin lovesick i am :x
I know it seems kinda pathetic. and man! i hate being pathetic. haiz. stilll.
she means hella lots to me.. Gotta find a way to make her happy again.
God~ can you give me a sign? pretty please? sigh!
my days are dying. they're like colorless films of the past.. I wanna be happy..
No.. truthfully, I am happy. I want her to be happy.
I've never met a person more harder to understand than her.
No idea why i find that attractive, but i do. :S
Right now, I'd do anything just to see her. and talk to her.
I feel like booking a plane to bintulu to find her right now.
But she's gonna hate me if i do so... haiz....
Why is everything soo confusing?
I feel jaded, empty, worried..
Heh, reminds me of a sermons; Worry Comes From The Demon!
=_=! shud be positive and joyous.
Positive; I know she loves me.. and i love her back.. I will be perfect to her soon.
But then i dunno how much longer she can hold.. sigh..
you know, truth is my hopes on my future lies with her..
Which makes me wonder on God's plan on my life..
how am i to fulfill my destiny if i'm stuck like this?
even if i was able to fulfill my destiny eventually;
i would want to be able to return to a home (not a house! a HOME) with her as my wife.
heh.. dreams...
Destiny.
Fate.
Faith.
Hope.
Dream.
Wish.
Love.
are the things i live for...
and what gets me going all the time. Achieving every goal i make for myself.
Nothing Is Impossible.
I Believe in you! ;D
I just Hope. Things get better soon..
((color studies says; red and yellow attracts attention.))
I guess, sometimes over planning does ruin life. that's why i'm not planning into details.
ups and downs is what makes our life go round i guess.
but then; time's like this i feel like screaming;
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
but knowing it all.
for myself; well, I want to have a good future
(cos my past isnt all that great, ehehe, yeahhh. BUT! Life is fair. so bad past = good future)
for God; to live my life and achieve what He wants me to (no shit! as if everyone dunno that?)
for HER; just for me to just be a good bf (good enuf to be a husband type)
[Affection, Conversation, Honesty, Financial Support and Commitment]
so affection and honesty is what i'm good at..
Conversation can use a little work. Financial support; working on it.
Commitment is kinda early still.. but still i'm willing to commit myself to her.
I know each one of those have their own category...
I'm trying my best to meet her every need.
Even though I suck at it ;X opps~ hehe
Alright first gotta focus my exam. then Her. then church.
how am i suppose to do this..
------------------------------------------
Lord God...
You are...
"Jehovah-Rohi" Grant me guidance to know what i must do.
"Jehovah-Rapha" mend my broken-heart and hers too.
"Jehovah-Jireh" Provide me with the tools to fix all that is broken.
"Jehovah-Shalom" Bring peace to these shaking grounds of my life.
"Yahweh" I am a sinner and You are my only way to Salvation... :(
El-Olam; Lord Everlasting.. Watch over me as i do my deeds as your creation.
Elohim, bless me with the strength and might you hold oh lord.
I pray for your presence in me. To show me what i must do.
I'm lost and I just need a way out. My Savior, My Lord.
Watch over me...... Amen..
what? It wouldnt kill to have a little~~
♥ faith ♥ hope ♥ love ♥ dream ♥ wish ♥ plans
I guess things happen for a reason. i just hope they arent for bad reasons.
Labels: myself
.:Calling Now:.
1:51 AM
Thursday, October 28, 2010
war
Guess what?!
guess waht waht?!!!
I dont know either.
Life's been soooo super duper dull!
and sucky!
T.T
dont wanna comment much.
and there isnt much to write either. T.T
I wanna go out, i wanna have fun.
gahhhh!!
why is my life getting boring?! T.T
eeee~
honestly. i'm bored. sigh!
:( and things arent going as good as i want them too.
sigh! guess we cant always get waht we want T.T
oh well. that's it. TADAH! short post.
it's to let you knw I'm still alive and kicking!
Labels: friends
.:Calling Now:.
9:50 PM
Monday, October 25, 2010
希望
是我错我没想到.
我在2007年有一位好朋友。 我和她 呢。 今年不像朋友了。
以前，像好弟姐，而行在呢， 像莫伸人一样。
为什么 会着样 呢?
她和我说；
Bro, You are very selfish, you want everyone for yourself. You dont own people; we are best friends, but that doesnt mean i have to be here for you 24/7. I'm not being selfish; its that i have my own life too.
虽让，她说的没有那么夸张。但是 那是她的意识。
也对。
从小，六岁时；我有了我第一个希望。 那就是要有一位好友陪我过日子。
但是；到我十岁时； 我二哥去世了。我小时候的好友也暗箭我了。
我真的好难过。过后；家挺发生了好多问题。 有了我第一位女友， 但我把她视为理所当然。
我真没用。 我很自私。 我很想改变。
我生命的每一个人都不会诊镇和我一起很久的。
但是；在2008 年， 我改变了。
在2009年遭到了我生命最爱的人。
让侯； 过了好多好日子。。。
但是；我冲了 PLKN 我不动这么办好。
我去了。回来后；有变回我以前的样子。伤害了我最爱的人的心。
我想从新开始。但那时不可能的。
我有可能浪费了我唯一的机会有个真心爱我的人陪我过生活。
虽然我还没放弃，我很害怕。。。
我不能没有她。 我很难过， 不懂该这么表达她对我的重要性。
我真的没想到她是那么真实的爱我 。。。
我真的好笨；好傻；好自私。 对不起。
我真的每想到我的希望会有成救的。
我行在真是很害怕。。。 会不会太迟了。。。
我很讨厌我自己， 对不起； 是我错了
我会感强起来的, 我真的好需要你。。。 T.T
我知你有你的生命； 我知你有的自己的朋友。
我知我很自私。 我只不过很还怕而已。。。
我很怕没有了你。。。
很难董吗。。。
我不想被受伤害了， 我不想被抛弃了。。。
我做的一切有好多错误的， 我在造着方法改变自己。
我真的不想伤害你了。。。
我真的什么都不懂；我只是希望你会跟我讲而已。。
我真的不懂。。。 对不起。。。
看来；我小时的希望完成了，我现在的希望是想好你永永远远的不率开我。
我真的很需要你, 没有了你我是真的活不下去的。
我很软弱，我想要变的更强。只希望你会等我而已。
我真的会在成为那位你爱的人的。
i just need time to find him again. to find myself again.
Labels: myself, record
.:Calling Now:.
9:57 AM
in words
I'm selfish. and I think too much.
those are my weaknesses.
Selfish Love! -Miyavi :X
anyway..
erm..
theres alot i wanna say; but i dont know how to say them..
I lied to her, and i left her. once.
it was due to overbearing thoughts and affects from a bunch of people around me.
some i barely even know. I felt unimportant; i felt used; i felt a lot of feelings i never felt from the relationship before. Doubts. I hated it soo badly. I was too weak. i hurted her.
:( i regret. I hate each and everyone of you who caused me to do her such pain.
and i realized why it hurted when i see her (erica); cos she's my first. I trusted her whole heartedly 100%; but she dumped me for another guy; that scar remained in me until i met her again on her birthday last month.
and it made me realized how much i hurted my current girlfriend the same way.
Its correct that i care about my past, but i only care about it cos i dont want my future to be the same.
Everyone have their own unique way of thinking; i have mine. Believe me or not; I love you.
I never intended to be weak..
to be honest; right now. i think PLKN is what led to this :(
I was alone for soo long; worse; i was stuck in a camp where you need to be selfish to survive.
The affects of spending 3 months there = not good at all.
I came back; with all the stupid PLKN affects. and destroyed my own life.
Destroyed my own relationship. Destroyed most of my friendships.
Maybe they were right; maybe PLKN is haunted. not by ghost; but by demons of doubts and fraud.
I wanna change back, i wanna go back to my strength last year.
i wanna be the person she fell in love with again.
I wanna be better again.
I wanna be a vampire again.
Altho i cant always get what i want :(
I pray for it!
I'm hoping, waiting, wishing to be strong again.
i dont wanna make any more mistakes, i dont wanna have any more doubts.
so! leave me demons! i dont care if i feel empty; i dont care if i feel nothing.
I dont care if it hurts, i dont care about anything anymore!
I just wanna be with her. I just wanna be with her.
I just wanna be with her. I just wanna be with you.
Trying really hard not to get affected by my surroundings. :(
trying really hard to focus on God, her and schoolwork.
why cant i focus well D:
to be honest, i need her most when i'm like this :(
she always make me smile, make me stronger.
I regret soo many things.
I wanna change.
I wanna regain her love and trust. :(
i wanna be hers again.
I'd give anything for another chance.
sigh..
I'm scared
I'm scared of losing her again.
D: what is wrong with me!?!
damn... 8 days left. :(
what should i do?
Labels: myself, record
.:Calling Now:.
9:02 AM
Thursday, October 14, 2010
hmm dead blog
hmmmmmm~ dead blog! xD
Hello bloggie! long time no post :X
anyway life's been hectic :S
lotsa ups and downs. ouchies.
Been painting and drawing a lot lately
(dying from painting! it's sooo frustrating to wait for paint to dry X____X! )
anyway~
doing my english and history assignment later. T.T
before that :)
wanna make a longggggg post on ue! xD
In september!
went out with Adeline o___o! yeah 1on1. felt awkward!!! but it was nice to see her again :D
been soo long since me n her hanged out; we went to watch the expendables. then after went back to her school (st.jo) to wait for her dad to pick her up; talked about religion, church and relationship. rofl! its like the in topic for me n her :S cos if not she'd be blabbing all about Biology (wtf! BIO! LOL! :X nerdy! )
anyway~ then nearly the end of september went to Erica's birthday party.
I duno why; but see her affected my mood. it hurted. maybe its due to what happened to her with the person she dumped me for, ermm either way; i'm happy she found someone better for herself. through out that night i was hoping dear dear was there with me. but she wasnt. and due to her cacat phone i couldnt sms with her either. Adeline was too busy with her own friends too (who were excluded by Erica too) so yeahh... there were like 2 groups of people there. so everyone felt awkward.
I got home, got emo. I din know what to do. I was a complete mess. :S and then i hurt her last week... one of the biggest thing i'll ever regret is that night.. sigh! We talked the next day and we patched up abit. I needed help... so i went to church and screamed my lungs out 2 days straight :D~ and during one of those day i forgot which; i chatted with erica online about me, and she found me stupid =___=! and she made me realized i was, and she also told me that she never actually considered me n her ever together due to the fact that during that time i was having my family problems, and i was actually rejecting her (and i was) and she just got soo fed up and found herself someone else (not knowing that that person would've caused her soo much more damage) but the point was that to her all i was and ever will be is a friend. and it kinda made me feel better that i wanted to be better for dear dear... I din wanna lose pric just because i'm selfish or cos i'm afraid of losing her or just cos I rejected her in my life in some way.
heh... I wanted to change.. i still do... so anyway!
monday came! me went out with dearest!!! and i felt completely renewed! :D
I really love the way she looked! ♥_♥ white blouse and jeans(with blue thread) then again! she looks great in everything xDDD~
ermm ermmm!! met her at the cyber first at around 8:30, she needed some help with her video (tho i din help much T.T)
and then we went for lunch at the shops at green road at around 10:30 :)
then we went to Star to watch The Hole. cool movie,
before it started tho, we went to eat ice-cream and to St.Mae.
to greet all of dearest's friends :))
I loveeee to see her soooo happy :'D~
anyway~
then after that we went back to Star to watch the movie.
bought drinks (pepsi and 7up)
lol dear dear actually ordered pepsi twist, but it was out :S
anyway went into the hall... and watched the movie.... :)
halfway she did something.... something i wanted for soo longgg~ and something that really boosted my confindence.. I loved it... i missed it... it was comforting.. I almost cried. :'| it was just too sweet!
i wanted to do more for her right at that time; but there was nothing i could do. i was all out of ideas. :S i din know how to express myself for once. I just really felt loved and i wanna show her love back :'| but i didnt know how...
well... heh.. ahem~ we went back to CC after that.
Bullied her while she was gaming~ ROFL!
she's soo cute... :|
ermm ermmm~
then then went to her tuition.. she rebinded her book. and went up to tuition.
Oh yeah! she drew me something super duper sweet last time! I relooked at it when i got home.
i cried :'| and sms with her. rested. A decent sleep for once! :'D I woke up lovesick.
(actually posting this is making me lovesick!)
ermm ermmm then the days that came were amazing. :)
tho tuesday she got annoyed by someone :(
and i wanted to cheer her up but i failed... then yesterday came. she was feeling better abit.
but at the end of the day her mood grew worse..
I was affected..
:( i didnt know what to do.. i felt soo useless...
I tried.. but i failed... idk why i keep failing her..
sigh! and today... I rather not post about it..
I just hope things get better tomorrow.
I hope this is enough...
I hope i am enough..
I have nothing to hide...
I have nothing to give..
Nor anything to gain from lying..
The truth of the matter is...
I love her and i am vulnerable to her. Fragile to any pain she may inflict on me.
Even if i was independent, i wanna be with her and i still wanna share my entire life with her.
I just want her to be happy again...
sigh!
blueks! I feel soo useless again :'(
I wanna do soooo much more... why am i back here again.
i really thought everything was gone already...
I was doing my best... what triggered her... i wonder..
and how can i help her...
I cant take it! going off to do my assignment and pray my heart out..
I hope she feel better.
Sorry for neglecting you bloggie. :) ue always understand the best~
*hugs monitor* ROFL!
she isnt replying me.. :'( that affects too! X_X
and i just realized!
most of my friends are such ermm ermmm i dunno the term! xD and i love them soo muchies! rofl! xD those people u see with polkadoted dresses and colorful heels! o__o! uhmm. with faded color pics with words as their display pics. people who listen to ballet songs sung by colbie caillet, Sara Bareilles, all those!
excluding my nicer friends who are more religious and emotional who listens to christian rock, praise and worship and all that.
rofl! and then theres my more closer friends who listen to jrock, jpop, kpop, cpop, kdance... asians! rofl! tho most of them arent from kuching T_T
but still! there's only one who is truly sweet, always there and just really amazing. emotional but amazing :'D whom i super duper love! her name is! Pricilla~ hehe Love you lots dear!!! you're soo unique! and i really truly wanna spend my whole life with u...
sorry for the way i am, i wanna be better. i wanna be yours. i love you...
Labels: myself
.:Calling Now:.
7:49 PM
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
quite long
So it's been quite long since i last posted
alot had happened.
I feel stronger than before.
still need some work done. but still I'm less emo.
tho I still feel weak when i'm apart from her. :(
I'm still trying my best to be stronger for her.
that aside.
went out with her on monday :D~
tat was our 9th month anniversary!! :))~
really really really really was an amazing day
we watched Salt. and pretty much spent our time talking and joking around.
simple yet sweet, nothing can compare :)
I really really love wasting time with her.
then then yesterday got to spend more time with her!
we went to st.mae so she could get high with her friends rofl!
:) they were all soo happy to see her..
she was soo happy to see them.. I felt happy too seeing her smile.
x__x tho i dont know.
I guess I wish that i could've spend more alone time with her.
but then today i felt tat i was being selfish yesterday.
there are a few things i wish i could take back. but since i cant. I hope i will do better next time.
that aside. It was still really really amazing to see her soo happy.
I wish i could make her smile and laugh like that everyday .__.!
so yeah! overall our dates had been going great.
our own lives has had our own share of problems.
:') I'm gone through all of mine. and now waiting for my semester to start.
Fresh New Class, Fresh New Mates, Fresh New Friendships To Create.
cant wait.
tho i CAN wait if i get to spend more time with my beloved xD
:x lately she's been really stressing about her schoolwork. which is kinda sad.
I really dont know how to help her much. Cos God knows I suck with schoolwork.
still I will do my best to relief her stress.
I really love her more than anything.
today, my emotions got a better hold of me..
and i wish it hadnt. :\ at least it wasnt as serious as i thought.
that aside i think it was due to lack of sick or this stupid headache i'm getting.
Or maybe it's just the holiday moodswings again... personally I hate Holidays..
I always get soo isolated and lonely at home that my mood keep changing..
one second i can cry for no reason, scream my lungs out cos i feel frustrated which turn into scream of Joy.. and well pretty much go crazy with boredom and lonesomeness. dull-ness to the extreme!
sigh~ but still OVERALL! I love her lots! :) personally i wish she could give me more work to do. o___o! cos i seriously want to do more for her. and i need to get my mind on something before i keep thinking.
Hanging with the group tomorrow. Hopefully that would maintain my emotions again.
gahh.. i hate getting sick... going off to bed.
Peace Out Peeps :)~
P/S
Flyleaf Rules! and Lacey the lead singer. Just plain ROCKZ~
Labels: special
.:Calling Now:.
11:14 PM
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
bye bye bye to me
Bye Bye Bye :)
A LOT had been happening in my life
alot of changes. a new surrounding.. SEGI COLLEGE
new friends, new companions, new trust, new supporters.
A new environment...
A lot have changed.
some good some bad, some horrible some extremely amazing.
Adrenaline rush, Pain, Tears, Happiness, Care, Love... Everything
I dunno how to express the thing's I've faced this month
I started college. First Subject Started And Ended today.
New Friends. Old Friends.
Church, College, Lovelife, Friends..
I dont know how to blog them all..
But One Thing's For Sure
No Matter How Much Things Changes..
My Love For Her Still Remains The Same
I admit.. I DID had doubts for awhile But my feelings just pulled me back to her.
I am back in her loving embrace and I'm not gonna leave.
I will be better at this
Bye Bye Bye To The Way I Was, Bye Bye Bye To The Way I'm Not Good.
Bye Bye Bye To The Imperfectness. Bye Bye Bye To The Weak Old Me.
I'm Made Anew.
Stronger, Better, Faster, Loving, Caring, Supportive, Faithful... and everything else.
PERFECTION
and Finally~ DEAR!
~~!~~I LOVE YOU~~!~~
Everything In The Past I've Lost. PLKN, High School, Primary School, Old Friends, Family..
But No Matter.
AS LONG AS I HAVE GOD, HER AND MY OWN STRONG WILL.
:) NOTHING WILL EVER COME AGAINST ME.
Took Me Awhile To Finally Moved On ...
But I Finally Realized What Is Truly Important To Me.
Truly Truly Important...
I'm Doing My Best And Having Fun Doing It!
LIFE IS ABOUT MAKING CHOICES, MAKING CHANGES AND TAKING CHANCES
Chances, Choices, Changes.
I'll take every chance I get to make the perfect choice. If it isnt good enough I'll change to something better and await another chance.
I WONT GIVE UP. NEVER GIVING UP
~ BYE BYE BYE TO THE OLD ME ~
AND SURE AS ANYTHING I'M LOVESICK! xDDDD~
:DDDD
PUI ENN PRICILLA!
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!
Labels: myself
.:Calling Now:.
6:42 PM
Friday, July 2, 2010
lately
well, it's been a.. very roller coaster 2 week.
first off
previous monday, met dearest at chong lin and walk walk with her around green road and to saberkas. etc. etc. nothing much really really. That was the day when she first time met her friend from SMKSM de. rofl whom she thought looks beautiful :S haha, to me she's just slightly above average la. xD
tuesday!
went to the spring with dearest. didnt do much there tho. Just spent time together sitting and talking mainly... and that was kinda amazing already. Opening up to one another and all that :))~
Saturday went to church and uhh that's it for last week.. :X all the other days were normal with nothing much happening..
THIS WEEK!
Monday, had a great meeting with dearest on monday :)) really really great.
wouldnt trade that one hour for anything! gawd i love her soo much!
:x
and thennn~ tuesday!
dated her! :DDD~ hehe~ great date too! :D
she chia me mostly.. eikk, horrible! =.= but she wanted to~
ermmm... that aside nothing much really :) I just really really love spending time with her.
even if it means we dont do anything at all... its great to spend time with her..
the rest of the week from wednesday till today..
ermmmm a megamix of emotions.
up and down emotions from both sides due to happenings....
It doesnt matter much tho..when we meet again. everything will be calm again...
when all these problems blow pass everything will be ok again..
that aside!
I'm starting college next week!!
Creative Multimedia! xDDD~
I cant wait! +___+!! i mean yeah totally! I cant wait :DD~
*EXCITED*
but it means that i wouldnt be able to spend as much time with my GF.. T.T
I pray that she'll be fine.. (feels bad)
but still i cant do much.. i still gotta study :S
thats it.. :S peace out!
Labels: myself
.:Calling Now:.
12:29 PM
Sunday, June 20, 2010
open minded
This blog post is titled: In truth
I'm still coughing. and all tat.. bluek
:) anyway
Today woke around 7:10.
brushed my teeth, bathed, ate. and waiting for ying and her bf to come fetch me to go watch pric's competition :)
so yeah.. reached there too early. saw pric's mum, talk to her awhile. we were there around 8:20
n the couple havent ate yet.
so we went to OpenA to eat. tho only her bf ate. rofl.
anyway then went back to st.jo.
and went to the hall. sat there awhile. dear came to talk to me.
even tho when i ask her if she was ready
her response was a no and shook her head. But somehow i knew she was gonna do great xD
so yeah!
i had total faith in her! :) then then. First round started she had a slow start but an aggressive ending. scoring her points to the semi final. then after tat round she went n drag me to sit at the green road student side rofl~
Ying asked if i was ok. so yeah then she went off to paktoh with her bf xD~
mehh couldnt make them stay. it'd had been mean.
oh btw.
YING MY SUPER BLURFRIEND THANKIUS~! :DDD~
ahem~
uhh yeah!
actually honestly Tkd may not be my fav sport or KK activity.
But it's hers so I went there to support her the best i can :)~
and had a good time with her watching her fight etc. etc.
after her first Gold. which was Great! xD
I ask if her leg was ok. it was actually getting worse~ but she continued.
then 2nd category she went and fight and wounded her leg even more! :(
then then her finals for tat was horrible.. :X i actually felt her pain :((
so yeah.. sigh! but she fought till the end. ♥ ♥ ♥
and scored herself a Silver medal xD~ which was really really awesome d~
I guess it's cos it's in her blood to always fight on~ :))~
so Yeah! she did an amazing job xD~ love her lots for being such a great fighter~
and being such a great student and active member.
it's people like Her tat rises a school's prestige :)~
so I have high hopes for her in the future bout everything :D~
and her last match was simpler. tho she was against her friend at the end.
which was a big distraction for her. :) but they both did great. rofl!
tearing each other's eyes out (literally) o___O! neway!
she got a Gold in that too!
& well despite the pain and bruises.
could tell she was happy. rofl.
so i'm glad. I wish i could've done more for her tho.
sigh! she got soo injured! :((~
But still the time i got to spend with her was nice.
and I knew she needed me there at some point. :)
so yeah. Huggies!
I love you dear. forever supporting u in everything u do.
:) hehe~ love love love love love you!
and i'm mega proud of you ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
oh after that, got home. and facebooked and chatted with dearest awhile.
then we both went to rest. long day :)~
now she's packing her back getting ready for her school tomorrow.
and I just love her more n more :))~
Labels: record
.:Calling Now:.
9:16 PM
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
know what
I BELIEVE, I TRUST, I KNOW, AND I LOVE
:)
YEAH!
I BELIEVE IN WHAT GOD TOLD ME
I TRUST THAT HE WILL PROTECT HER JUST AS HE TOLD ME WHEN I WAS PRAYING ABOUT HER IN CAMP.
ALTHO SOME SHIT DID HAPPEN, IT DOESNT MATTER
COS
THE PASTOR SAID;
EVERYTHING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS HAPPENING AS IT SHOULD, DO NOT WORRY. GOD WILL GUIDE AND HEAL.
AND HE ALSO SAID THAT I HAVE A POWERFUL SPIRIT ARISING FROM ME, FROM MY STOMACH AND IN MY HEART.
SO I HAVE NO FEAR OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN
COS I KNOW THAT MY GOD IS A LOVING GOD.
AND HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR ME
AND WHAT I ASK HE WILL GIVE
AND I ASK FOR HER TO BE SAFE AND FOR HER TO BE MINE
AND IT WILL BE GIVEN TO ME
I TRUST IN HER TO STILL HAVE THE SAME FEELINGS SHE HAD FOR ME
I LOVE HER FOR ALL THAT SHE IS, GOOD OR BAD
EVEN NOW I LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING!
ALL IS GOOD, ALL IS FINE
GOD IS GREAT, I AM GREAT
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE
I TRUST, I HOPE, I HAVE FAITH, THIS PROBLEM WILL BE OVERCOMED
IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, DISMISS THIS DEMON FROM THIS RELATIONSHIP
AND IN DOING SO, HEAL THE DAMAGE IT HAS DONE.
HEAL THIS RELATIONSHIP OH LORD. HEAL US.
STRENGTHEN US. FORGIVE US. BE WITH US. BE WITH HER.
:DDDD
hahas feeling lot better.
Sharing 3 sweet messages that helped me thru my relationship problems while i was in camp..
MELISSA'S MESSAGE;
1- If you love her, why not right? being in a relationship is always like that, sacrifice alot. Give and TAKE alot too! But sometimes you need to be selfish also ;D
2- YOU HAVE A STRONG SPIRIT. Just keep on going and dont give up. I'm sure things will be settled soon.
ADEL'S MESSAGE:
1- You will be blessed and rewarded in His ways and His time. All i know is that there is a purpose things like this happens. And He has his ways to show you what he wants you to do in your life. You can read psalms 13 BUT remember this, Jeremiah 29:11..
PSALMS 13 ...
How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.
Jeremiah 29:11...
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Then i trust in the Lord to plan my future.. but i still pray that it is with her..
Labels: christian, friends
.:Calling Now:.
9:33 PM
:D
YOU KNOW WHAT!
I DONT CARE :D If i WAS borned to be unloved or uncared for thats fine :)
because LOVING YOU makes me happy
~I love to love you~ :D
I dont care if you love me back or not.
I just wanna love you because i love you
and I will do whatever it takes to prove that :DDD~
Hehe~ Muackz Love You Dear~
More and more each day :))~
And I'll be Fine :D perfect :)
I wont do anything that'd hurt you
or myself
IPromise You..
I love you. you mean everything to me... xoxo~
just dont let go of me. I really wanna be in your life :))~
Happy 226th Anniversary
Labels: special
.:Calling Now:.
11:47 AM
